Are They Smiling Because They're Happy, or Happy Because They're Smiling?

Friday Puzzler # 6

Happy Monday! I'm posting my Friday Puzzler that should have been posted Friday, today instead because I simply forgot to post it on Friday. Uuugggh!

Being the literary scholar that I am -LOL!!!, in all my 42 years, I can count on one hand the number of books I've read, besides those I was forced to read in the 4th grade by my beloved teacher, Mrs. Casey. I will never forget how disappointed in me she was when she found all of my unread library books shoved up under my desk to hide them from her because I hated to read. . . .

ok, out of digression and back to the puzzlement . . . I have always wondered why in the world would "they" decide to call a made-up story FICTION, and a true story NON-FICTION? That has always sounded very backward to me. Is it just me, or have you felt this way too?

A good example of non-fiction would be this biography of Lucille Ball's life. I have read this.A good example of fiction would be this wonderful classic, To Kill a Mockingbird. I have read this as well.

Have a wonderful week!

Denise

Friday Puzzler #5

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?

You put your right leg in,

you put your right leg out,

you put your right leg in

and you shake it all about.

You do the Hokey Pokey

you turn yourself around,

THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Hugs to all,

Denise

Friday Puzzler #4

Why is it that we wear a "pair" of panties,

but just a "single" bra?

That was supposed to be the end of my question but as an afterthought, and because girdle is my very favorite word to say - girdle, girdle, girdIe :) I now wonder why a girdle is singular when panties are plural . . . .

Man, I hope I can sleep tonight . . . . .

Have a wonderful weekend, all!

Hugs to each of you,

Denise

ANNOUNCEMENT . . .

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts... and not listening to them.

Have a fun weekend, full of laughs!
Love,
Denise

Quirky or Weird? You Decide ~

My friend, Tina (Golden Goodness), posted about her quirks this week, and I thought it was pretty fun to find out these little interesting things about her. I'm doing my own "quirk" post today but I'm not stealing from Tina. She invited her readers to do this and I'm taking her up on it. I think we should all do it for giggles.

* I have a "thing" about messy handwriting. I think I have a pretty nice handwriting but if I am writing something that someone else might read, I will re-write as many times as it takes before I think it is presentable. And . . a really big deal to me is if I order a birthday cake and the writing on it is ugly or messy. That totally grinds my gears! I won't usually say anything when I pick up the cake because I'm not big on making scenes, but you can bet everyone back at the house will get an earful!

* I really love to eat in front of the TV. Food just tastes so much better when watching a good show. However, I don't like to eat while a commercial is on, or while surfing for a show to watch. It has to be during the actual show only.

* I have a "thing" about people going outside in their sock feet. It really gets under my skin. If my son does it, I yell at him. If others do it, I just stare and wince. It totally ruins socks.

* I am a freak about washing my hands. I wash them countless times a day. I notice if people don't wash their hands when they are preparing food and it really gets to me. Every time my hands touch something while I'm cooking (which is not often), I have to wash and dry my hands and then go on to the next thing.

* I am a loyal Coca-Cola drinker. I don't do Pepsi at all. If I order Coke at a restaurant (which is rare because I find it ridiculous to pay $2.00 for a drink, so I usually get water) and they ask me if Pepsi will be fine, I have to say no and have them just bring water. Believe me, I know the diff.

* If I am in a public place and I hear a baby or small child crying - serious crying and not whining - it makes me tear up and cry.

* I really enjoy the smells of gasoline, and hair perms in a beauty shop.

* I sleep with a nightlight on.

* I have a "thing" about people moving stuff around on my desk when I'm away. I'm not like this at home but at work, it is another gear-grinder for me. I'm a real neat nick about my work area and if I've been out of the office and I come back to find things are moved around, or Heaven forbid, someone has left trash at my desk (coffee cups, personal notes, etc.), I cannot get do a thing until all is back in order.

* I keep all of my shoes in shoe boxes because I'm afraid of spiders crawling into the shoes. I know deep down that they can still get in, but humor me.

What are some of your quirks?

A Brush With Fame

Have you ever had a brush with fame? My one, brief brush happened to be with one of my all-time favorites. Ever since I was a kid, I have loved Dolly Parton. I’m not a loyal listener of country music, but I do like it when I happen to hear it. When I was very young, I spent most every weekend with my granny and she liked to watch all the country music programs on TV. Of course, one of those shows was The Porter Wagoner Show. I’m sure you know that Dolly Parton was a regular on the show and was a singing partner to Porter. My granny could not stand Dolly because of her high pitched voice, and because she wore a wig, but I just loved her from the very start. Maybe it was her gaudy, colorful look, or her twangy, country voice, I don’t really know but I liked her and never missed the show. I also thought she looked just like my mom’s friend, Celia, except Celia had dark hair. I liked Celia a lot too. But, I digress. Anyway, back to Dolly. . . . Several years ago, maybe 11 or so, I read in the paper that Dolly Parton would be making an appearance at a local bookstore to sign her new autobiography, 'Dolly – My Life and Other Unfinished Business'. Well, I knew I just had to go ‘cause this would be my only chance to see Dolly. I asked friends to go with me but no one would, so I took a ½ day off from work that day and went alone. She was supposed to be there at 5:00 but I was advised to go early and get a good place in line. I got there about 11:30, bought my book, and got in line. The line was already quite long. I hoped I’d get to actually talk to her for a moment and so I rehearsed in my mind all the things I would say in the few moments I was gonna have with Dolly Parton! I was gonna tell her what a great fan I was, and that my favorite song of hers was 'Hard Candy Christmas', and that I loved her in 'The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas', etc, etc. There was this college student in front of me in line who struck up a conversation with me and we talked quite a lot that day. We had nothing else to do but wait. Anyway, she was saying how she was going to ask Dolly to meet her later for an interview so she could write a paper for class, blah, blah, blah. I knew good and well, Dolly was not going to meet her later but I just encouraged her and let her hope for the best. Well, finally, the time had come! Dolly had arrived! We all stood up (we had been sitting in the floor all afternoon) and straightened our clothes and freshened our faces so we’d look good when we met Dolly. As I got closer to the front of the line, I noticed that people weren’t getting to spend much time with Dolly so I started cutting down my “speech” in my mind. Then, it was down to the college girl in front of me. Well, I’ll have you know, that girl tried to talk to Dolly about meeting for the interview and all this other stuff, and the guards were trying to move her along but she was very hard to budge, so they told me to just go on up. This girl was still talking while I was in front of Dolly and as Dolly signed my book, all I could get out was, “Dolly, I love you!”, and I was pushed out of the way along with the college girl that was still talking – uuuggghhhh! Of course, it wasn’t Dolly’s fault, but those guards should not have let that girl take up my Dolly time. That was it and I’ve never had the opportunity to see her in person again, but I’m still hopeful. I will say that I think she is very pretty and I was so close to her that I could easily reach across and touch her. She looked just as lovely in person as she does on TV. I was very surprised.

Throughout the years I have grown to appreciate Dolly Parton for the true poet that she is. She wrote the majority of the songs she sings, herself. For instance, these words to 'Love is Like a Butterfly: "Love is like a butterfly, as soft and gentle as a sigh; the multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings. Love makes your heart feel strange inside; It flutters like soft wings in flight. Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing."

Of course one of the very best is Coat of Many Colors, which was written about an actual event in Dolly's childhood. It always makes me cry, so I won't note any of those lyrics - just trust me . . . oh well, "They didn't understand it but I tried to make them see, that one is only poor, only if they choose to be. Though we had no money, I was rich as I could be in my coat of many colors that my mama made for me."

One song that I never cared for in the past was Jolene. I don’t know why I didn’t like it but it did not appeal to me at all. As I started to appreciate music more, I started to listen to words more. Today, Jolene is one of my favorite karaoke songs to sing, and I really like the song a lot. Just “listen” to this: "Your beauty is beyond compare, with flaming locks of auburn hair, with ivory skin and eyes of emarald green. Your smile is like a breath of spring; your voice is soft like summer rain, and I cannot compete with you, Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I'm begging of you, please don't take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, please don't take him just because you can."
Dolly wrote (and sang) with such passion about this beautiful woman about to take away the only man she's ever loved. The way she describes the woman makes you actually see Jolene in your mind’s eye. She knew she could never compare to that kind of beauty so she resorted to humbly begging Jolene not to take her man. How poetic is that?!

If anybody out there happens to know Dolly, tell her I’m out here and would really like to meet her – again.

Craving Cuteness

I am a total girly-girl and I love "trying" to be cute all the time. When I was a kid I suffered with constant in-grown toenails, in my big toes, that were very painful and unsightly. When I was twelve, I had surgery on one of my toes and afterward, I never had another in-grown toenail. However, what was left was the most hideous, gross toe I had ever seen! I was so self-conscious of it that I made sure my feet were covered up at all times. I went through all my teen years never being able to wear the cute, trendy sandals that everyone else wore. When I grew up and learned about nail salons and "getting nails" (my finger nails weren't hideous, just short) of course I started going because that was just something else to make me look cute. After a few years of that I got up the courage to ask the nail tech if it would be possible to have a fake toenail put over my disfigured one. She said, "Of course you can!" Now any of you that "get your nails did" know that it didn't sound exactly like that, but I knew by her actions that the fake toenail was a go! I could hardly sit still, mainly because I was so embarrassed by having to unveil the toe, but also because I was so excited at the prospect of finally having a decent toe that I would no longer be so ashamed of. That is exactly what I got! It worked out perfectly and I started wearing open-toed shoes right then and there. I wore the little disposable foam pedicure flops right out of the shop that day. I started out only having the toenail done in the summer time, but then I graduated to year-round, and then finally to having free-hand designs painted on my pretty big toes by the nail tech. I am still doing this today and almost never wear closed-toe shoes. Even in the winter, if it's not too, too cold, I'll opt for flip flops before oxfords. After this childhood trauma and my new-found freedom to show off the tootsies, I take the following pledge every summer. I hope you will join me this year!

The Open-Toe Shoe Pledge

Alright Ladies, it's that time of the year again. Just a friendly reminder!!

Please raise your big toes and repeat after me. . . . . .

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $10 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.